Feeling Helpless

After speaking to Kathleen today I felt frustrated for the first time since I found out about her breast cancer. Frustrated that her breast isn't healing from the surgery. I even felt a bit angry. "Damn it" I thought to myself, "Why has it started bleeding again? What is causing it to bleed?"

Today was also the first day that I experienced Kathleen's sensitivities and range of emotions from appreciation to stubborness. I love her dearly and embrace what she's going through. I understand she doesn't want to go to the emergency room to get it checked out because she isn't sure they have dealt with this kind of thing before. Yet, I shared that the strength of her journey so far is that the right people have shown up at the right times. Not for one moment do I doubt her judgement and approach. She has my support and I encourage her to do what she feels is best for herself. As a loving sister, I will not always tell her what she wants to hear, though I will be honest with her if I see there may be other ways to reach her outcome.

Today, I felt helpless. Today, I just wanted to be with her rather than bouncing on the other side of the Atlantic.

I was deep in thought. Doing what we've always done will get us what what we've always gotten. Trusting, accepting help from others and believing in possibility vs. doubt is key to progress. Change will always happen; progress is a choice.

Today, I felt more, learned more and grew more. These are of the gifts of learning I received today.

love and blessing to all xp